Adventures in Love & Grace

“As soon as I saw you, I knew a grand adventure was about to happen.” 

A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

We began the year with a family intention –adventure. Our hope was to push beyond boundaries and experience new places, people, food, ideas and when hesitation tempted us, to let go and jump right in.

Some of adventures took the typical form as we played in a Mammoth snowstorm, walked the Highline in NYC, read new books, escaped for an anniversary getaway to Mexico, rode horses through sand dunes, watched sunsets and sunrises, listened at the Hollywood Bowl, dined at restaurants without kid menus, held hands jumping in swimming pools and fought backyard battles of good and evil.

Little did we know that January day on the beach when we wrote down that simple word, our adventures would go well beyond the rest and recreation part of the life menu.

In spring I accepted a full time marketing job with SAGE Publishing, a large, international academic publishing company. The opportunity to work primarily from home, incredible benefits and being part of a great team made the change worthwhile. I’m still searching for my groove with the switch to full time. Our dinners aren’t as fancy, there are always dishes in the sink and a constant lingering guilt that I’m a lousy friend, but we are finding our way. There is blessing to be found in making your world small for a season. For now, my bandwidth has slimmed down pretty much to work and time with my tribe- thankfully, I love both.

Mark spent the bulk of 2016 juggling two careers, one as chaplain at Valle Verde and building his Watson Fiduciary business. He faithfully worked seven days a week, ten hours a day, trusting that he was building something worth the sacrifice. He was right. In September Mark was able to make the leap to a sole focus on Watson Fiduciary. It’s been exciting to watch his client list grow, even more exciting to see his talents and compassion put to wonderful use. May we all have a Mark to care and protect us in our most vulnerable moments.

It has been a year of investing for our family and future. Ben and Clara have been troopers and teammates far beyond that 8 and 10 on their birthday crowns.

Ben is a voracious reader, full of kindness and loyalty, and is becoming quite the strategic thinker - “I like finding the loopholes.” He’s such a good kid. The best way to say it is this - you want to be on Ben’s team to talk your way out of anything and then joyfully analyze your escape together while eating ice cream sundaes and listening to The Beatles as his blue eyes sparkle with joy and mischief.

Clara is a captivating mix of Broadway baby, flag football cutie, expert organizer and artist/poet. Her biggest goal at the moment is to “be a New York Times bestselling author.” She weaves with ease Dean Martin, baseball, the current political mood, dark chocolate, bird watching and deep theological insight into breakfast conversation. Ben said it best, “Clara is the magic maker.” We are delightfully watching her magic unfold.

Clara has always wanted a dog. As in, her forever only hope, dream and wish. We Watsons are not traditionally dog people. We asked for adventure, so we went for it and in May brought home Sir Ranger Thomas Watson, our rescue puppy. It was love for all; we instantly all became dog people.

Two weeks after bringing Ranger home he came down with pneumonia and was then diagnosed with distemper, which is very rare in dogs these days (and has about a 10% survival rate). For a month we were on deathwatch to see if it had hit his neurological system – miraculously it didn’t. I’m happy to report that we have a healthy, goofy, exuberant puppy that embodies unconditional love and joy and daily drives us crazy.

“The sting of grace is not unlike the sting of being loved well, because when we are loved well, it is inextricably linked to all the times we have not been loved well, all the times we ourselves have not loved others well, and all the things we’ve done or not done that feels like evidence against our worthiness. Love and grace are such deceivingly soft words – but they both sting like hell and then go and change the shape of our hearts and make ourselves into something we couldn’t create ourselves to be.” –Nadia Bolz-Weber

True adventure comes with risk, effort and usually involves some tears or more likely, ugly crying. The temptation is to only embrace or share those picture perfect moments. Our hearts holds some exquisitely beautiful memories, but the bulk of our year was built on abundant messiness and that awkward phase of being in progress.

All these changes and new responsibilities made for over functioning and exhausted grown ups. It gave us the gift of beyond patient and resourceful kids. I was forced to face my perfectionism and people pleasing. Mark had to embrace multi-tasking, which is way out of his comfort zone.

We continue to learn the lesson that good enough is pretty damn good. If you have a troop of healthy parents, kids and puppy piled in a queen size bed at midnight cuddling through a thunderstorm you just can’t complain or want for much more.

We experienced that sting of love and grace in kids that encouraged us when our strength waned and we got snippy. Love in friends who reached out and gave advice, play dates or dinner when they knew we had little to return. Grace in my new colleagues who patiently mentored and taught me the ropes, at the cost of additional work for them. 

Love in those who did the scary Google research for us when Ranger walked through the valley of the shadow to protect us from that sadness. The grace of dearest friends loving us as dearest family. Abundant love and grace in the Communion wafers and wine given as a reminder that we are called to daily bread, daily grace and daily love. One step at a time, kids.

 As we begin to find our stride, or as much of a stride as one can in this frenetic world, we stop for a moment awed with gratitude for all who journey with us or allow us to walk beside them. Thank you for loving us well, for your patience and encouragement as we change shape and grow. We’ve already chosen our intention for 2017 – play. Care to join the fun?

Merry, merry with love,

Mark, Leah, Benjamin, Clara and Ranger

As always, huge thanks to Evan Janke for the photos 

that make it look like we have our act together.

Merry, Merry 2015

We began 2015 with a New Year's Day walk to the beach. Tumbled down on blankets, armed with fresh journals and cookies, we put to paper our goals and prayers for the coming year. A common theme found on all four lists — to work on loving and giving to our little family and then, to share that love with others.

“It is one thing to inventory your blessings; it’s another to care for,
love and nurture them in all the ways they deserve.”

–Mardi Jo Link, Bootstrapper

That list of gratitude and goals seems simple written down, blessed by sandy little hands and the shushing of waves. However, the reality of living and loving is often a relentless, complicated and messy mission. Our best efforts yielded a trove of memories, some absolutely wonderful and some that involved total failure and forgiveness. What did loving and giving look like at Casa Watson this year?

For Mark, it was early morning work sessions and six-day work weeks tending to his growing Watson Fiduciary client base and working full-time as the chaplain for Valle Verde Retirement Community. Bringing Leah a perfectly made cup of coffee (with just the right amount of froth) to her in bed every morning just as she woke up. Reading novels to the kids at night and driving them to school in the morning. Leading family devotions and taking out the trash. Holding us tight and pushing us to pursue our passions with his steadfast love. 

For Leah, it was working to keep our world small so we save our best to give to each other. Redirecting us when we got off course. Working-mom acrobatics to meet deadlines at the office and still make it to the school pick-up line in time. Morning cuddles with pajama-clad cuteness. Embracing forty with confidence and unapologetic self-care. Planning grocery lists, vacations, closet clean-outs, birthday parties, dentist appointments and date nights. Attempting touches of domestic magic to keep our little cottage happy without losing her mind in the process.

For Ben, it was running to get Leah when Clara finally mastered her beach cruiser bike and saying in awe as he watched her ride, “Mommy, isn’t she amazing?” Teaching us about Greek and Roman gods. Fighting imaginary battles in the backyard and choosing to be the good guy. Asking thoughtful questions, giving thoughtful answers. Talking too fast and waking up slow. Requesting the symphony station on the radio. Counting down to the new Star Wars movie over Christmas Day. Reading and reading and did we mention reading? Growing into a handsome young man of integrity, humor, intellect and joy.

For Clara, it was putting on elaborate shows for us involving costumed stuffed animals, set design and wearing her faithful fedora while belting out her favorites — Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby. Wishing for a dog above all else and then, patiently loving other peoples’ dogs while we wait for the right time to add one to our family. Playing capture the flag and kickball, building with Legos and cheering on the Giants. Throwing a tea party for her stuffed animals and asking for a pedicure date with mom. Giving the warmest hugs, brightest smiles and cards written with a depth of love and understanding that defy her seven years of sweetness. 

“Keep returning to those whom you belong
and who keep you in the light.”

-Henri Nouwen

On October 16^th we celebrated our sixteenth wedding anniversary by renewing our vows. The four of us headed down to Butterfly Beach where Pastor Bussell, who officiated our wedding, stood once again with us as we made those promises. It was a meaningful way to commemorate our “sweet sixteen.” More than that, we knew there’ve been seasons where honestly saying those vows again would have been hard, if not impossible. We wanted to stand in gratitude for the faithfulness of God, those who who’ve stood beside us, and for this family that has been created out of two flawed people pledging to build a life and legacy together.

With Ben and Clara nestled between us we reaffirmed those sacred pledges. Harold brought out the prayers he had prayed over us at our wedding and as he spoke those sacred words again the deep mystery and beauty of our marriage left us awestruck. Humbled, we know that this abundant goodness has little to do with any heroic efforts on our part — it is the gift of daily waking up, doing our best to keep in the light, asking for help when darkness descends and making the promise to hold on tight, forever.

Thank you loving us all these Christmases. We love you back. May we all take those relentless, complicated, messy and beautiful steps of love in our small worlds.

Hold on tight,

Casa Watson

Thank you, Evan Janke Photography. 

Our memories wouldn't look as pretty without you.

San Diego Snapshots

We spent the last week in the San Diego area on vacation, just the four of us. Mark has been super busy these past months with both his chaplain and fiduciary work, which is wonderful on many fronts, but it also means a six day work week, making this time away all the more special. Also, these growth spurt upon growth spurt kids remind us of how quickly these days are flying, spurring us to make these memories, as often as possible. 

I'm more aware now of the gift that it is to live in California (and yes, that we have our big VW van, even though I complain about it). To be able to pack up and hit the road to travel to such a wide variety of places was something I didn’t fully grasp until we moved out of state. It's been fun mapping out new adventures.

Here’s a rundown on some of the small moments from the trip I don’t want to forget:

This is the small army of comfort items that travel with us:

Finding notes written on hotel stationery from the kids saying, ‘Thank you for making this trip possible” and lots of XOXOXOs.

Watching the kids excitement exploring Legoland with total gusto and the bittersweet knowledge that this is probably their last trip as they're soon outgrowing the “awesome.”

Floating down the lazy river with Ben in the next inner tube holding my hand as we made our way down, watching Mark and Clara do the same thing behind us.

Our pirate room at the Legoland Hotel that was cheesy and fantastic for one night and hitting the dance floor at the nightly Disco Dance party. Clara was shy at first holding back. I leaned into her and said, “Clara, you’ll never see any of these people again. Just let go and have fun.” She let go and we all danced for over two hours to pop hit after pop hit amidst the strobe lights and smiles.

That time Clara went to hug Vader and grabbed his crotch.

Floppy McFloppenstuff Floppson, the seagull/s that visited our window at the hotel, hanging out with us throughout our stay.

Ben taking full advantage of the huge breakfast buffet at our SD hotel, loading up pancakes or waffles with whipped cream, syrup, sprinkles and the rest every morning.

Hitting the wall on day 4 of eating-out-all-the-time. The kids ask if we can stop at Von’s and get snap peas, carrots and fresh pineapple.

When overstimulation and change of schedule caught up with us and everything fell apart for about 15 minutes on the streets of Coronado. Finding that stone bench under the shade of trees, talking it out, giving and receiving grace and starting fresh. 

The feeling of total contentment with the kids tucked in one bed and Mark and I huddled around the laptop on the other bed, headphones on, watching a show while drinking wine out of plastic cups.

The boy bonding of Mark and Ben going in the flight simulator together at the USS Midway. Watching the pods whirl and twirl, Clara gets so worried about Ben she starts to cry. Ben emerges from his pod feeling like an aviator hero, and then holds his sister comforting her, reassuring her that he’s fine and that it was FUN.

Being on the USS Midway when a massive thunder and lighting storm hit, then the drenching downpour (the biggest since July, 1902 the paper told us the next day). Ben’s terrified heart thumping against my stomach as I hold him close. Mark holding Clara, looking out at the deluge and then at me wondering how we were getting back to the hotel (we had walked there). Christopher, our Uber hero, saved the day on that one.

Making the effort to give the kids more freedom. Letting them take a walk to the harbor on their own as long as we could see them. Playtime in the pool with us watching from the deck. Sending Clara to the omelet station to order on her own. Using their spending money any way they wanted. The scary and gratifying work of taking those small letting go steps that lead to the big ones.

Surprising the kids with an end stop at Medieval Times on our way home. Total enthusiasm as we cheered for our knight (yellow, of course), ate dinner with our hands and felt like kids in a royal fantasy for a couple of hours.

Exiting #93, San Ysidro Road, the same exit of our newlywed days and suddenly smelling the most intoxicating, sweet fresh scent of rain mixed with blossoms and well, Montecito. Wherever our travels take us we never stop pinching ourselves that our favorite place is home. 

And now, the laundry. So much laundry.