Eleven

Nothing turns out the way we planned.

But, you’re still my baby and I’m still your man.

-Griffin House, Better Than Love

At the eleven-year mark you start to get a sense of what this marriage thing is all about.   By now, you have had the chance to make some big mistakes and to get really lucky.  You tried and worked and won, you have tried and worked and lost.  You have had some dreams come true and had to let go of some dreams to get there. 

You have been blessed with many moments showered in the light of the sweet, fun stuff- playing house with lots of new shiny things, a grown-up monogram, walking the streets of Paris nibbling warm crepes, long car drives where conversation and dreams have room to meander, stepped out in style in San Francisco, settled into to the same wave length where less words mean more, Christmas day picnics on the beach, your first family photo holding your bundled newborn child, first smiles, first steps, first stumbles, classic “family moments” that feel straight from a movie scene.  Time has given you an album of snapshots, moments and memories that you can snuggle into with a satisfied smile.

But after a decade, and the lifting of the foggy haze of small children survival mode, you begin to find the beauty of marriage is truly found in the real, dirty love– The love that hurts and forgives.  The love that sacrifices yet can safely demand to be selfish. The love that stumbles through the dark valley clutching your hand and is humbled when the light returns.  The love that knows how much your victories demanded, and believes in you when the victory doesn’t come.  The love that uncovers the deep wounds of the heart and chooses to nurture and heal them, realizing that it will be a life long process of patience and protection.   The love that chooses to stay and in turn is rewarded with a trust, comfort and joy that demands your heart to respect, admire and emulate those around you who reach the big anniversaries, knowing that the 25, or the 40, or the 50 has cost more and given more than any bright-eyed bride and groom could fathom as they eat their triple layer butter cream cake.

You discover the kind of love that smiles at you across the room, a room strewn with battered toys, piled-high laundry baskets, more bills to pay, chipped paint to touch-up and two (amazing and adorable) cranky kids who still need baths, teary eyed because at that moment your life is more perfect and complete than you could have ever planned. 

Happy Anniversary Mark, I am so thankful to be your baby.  You will forever be my man.  XOXO-Leah