Twinkle, Twinkle

Three years ago, January 21st became an important date for our family.  It marks Leah’s first thyroid surgery, when Clara was just twenty-four weeks along in her momma’s belly.  The surgery ended up taking over three hours with our strong little peanut (nicknamed Prescott and sex unknown) rebounding like a champ after being under anesthesia too.  Within an hour of exiting the OR, that peanut was wildly kicking and twirling around bringing her momma much comfort. Unfortunately, that day was just the beginning of a very difficult season and through it all Clara remained our strong, feisty, so, so sweet gift of radiant light in the darkest of times. 

We decided to turn this day of painful memories into a day of commemoration. Every year we will celebrate “Clara’s Special Day.”  As we shared last year, “It is a chance to remind our baby girl that she is strong, she is blessed, that she is loved.  There are going to be many times she will need to remember to fight, to kick, squirm, to not let heartbreak or failure stop her heart from beating, stop her from living life to the fullest.  We can’t protect her from the hurt of the world, but we can circle around her and dance, proclaim with joy how happy we are that she is here, that she is strong, that she is ours.“

Clara chose the menu for dinner: hamburgers, sweet potato fries and apple pie (can we say Little Miss All-American?).  Leah conquered her fear of piecrust and made that baby girl one “H-E-double hockey sticks” of an apple pie.  Our annual dance party in the den once again brought Leah and Mark to tears— the joy, love, laughter and booty shaking filled us with bittersweet, humble gratitude.  Clara was lit from within, our spunky, sweet miracle girl.  When she blew out her candle we told her to make a good wish.  Her denim blue eyes looked up with delight and she exclaimed, “I made a wish for you, Mommy!”

Since the first night they were born, Ben’s song has been “You Are My Sunshine” and Clara’s “Twinkle, Twinkle.”   This week, Leah sang this tenderly to Clara, at the end kissing her forehead and telling her, “You’re my star.”  Clara cried out in protest, “I’m not a star!  I’m who God made me—I’m Clara Elizabeth Grace!”

With a tearful twist in the heart, Leah thought, that's it exactly—our shining star.