Joy! Argh!

Kids have a way of bringing joy and laughter no matter what the outside circumstances.  We have been determined to find those moments of sunshine and fun even in dark and hurting times.  A family ice-cream-for-dinner date did the trick, along with Clara's recent pirate girl adventures.  For the last few days she has been in pirate mode.  Clara even wore her pirate hat to church today, making our last Sunday at First Presbyterian in Newton a little brighter. In case you were curious, Clara's pirate name is, "Clara Elizabeth Grace Argh!" Keep it coming kiddos, keep it coming...

A Big Change, A Deep Wound

This is a difficult post to write, to put these words down and hit publish, to make them indeed our reality. Our intention with this small corner of cyberspace has always been to just share a glimpse of our life, to allow those dear to us and far away to see the kids and to help us recognize the joy and beauty of each day, each season, each stage of life as “Casa Watson.”  That’s about it.  But we were recently blindsided in a way that has turned our little life upside down, wounded our hearts deeply and now we must share here what has happened.

At the end of the month Mark will be leaving First Presbyterian Church in Newton, NC. We will simply say this— Mark did nothing wrong and it was not our desire to leave.  Mark has served faithfully, with integrity, with love, accomplishing much in his five and a half years here to move the church forward.  The process was not pursued “decently and in order” (a Presbyterian mantra). The majority of the congregation was unaware this was happening to us and when they found out were extremely upset.  We feel battered, betrayed and heartbroken-not only for us, but for the church we've loved that is now suffering a time of pain and turmoil.

So, what is next? Mark will finish his time with FPC Newton at the end of the month. Our beloved, memory-filled home is now on the market (start praying for a sale, people).  We will enjoy a long-planned, Scottish-drenched, Watson family reunion here at the start of July as we all attend the Highland Games in the mountains.  Then in mid-July we will box up all our furniture, pillows and pictures, move it cross-country, put most of it in storage and see what comes next.  We are grateful for a fair severance package that will help us take care of our family during this transition and we are overwhelmed by the love, support and concern shown to us by so many in the congregation and the community.

After hours of discussion, prayer and counsel we have made the decision to begin our job search and the considerable task of healing from the place that most feels like home.  David and Judy have generously (and fearlessly!) offered to have us come live with them through the end of the year in Santa Barbara.  Mark has many contacts up and down the coast; Leah will seek out part-time personal assistant/event planning work and the kids will feel safe and secure in a place they know well, surrounded by many who love them and the not-to-be-ignored small details of the beach, beauty, great friends and real Mexican food.

We do not want to downplay how difficult this transition is for us.  Sadly, in talking with others in ministry our story is not uncommon.  With the faltering economy and growing anxieties and fears, many pastors are becoming targets for the stress that surrounds everyone and are facing forced exits in alarming numbers.  After all the challenges we have been through these past few years, our desire was to live a simple life focused on our faith and family.  To have our security highjacked when we have two small children to take care of is an overwhelming and fear-filled challenge. 

At the start of the year we chose joy as our theme for 2011 and we hold true to that commitment.  For in the midst of darkness and pain we are given joy-filled reminders each day— healthy kids who fill our days with curiosity, cuddles and comfort, closing in on a three-year anniversary of Leah being cancer free, a marriage that has been tested from so many angles, yet stands strong on a foundation and trust not of our making, friends and family who love us unconditionally, an outpouring of support from near and far and in most moments, a peace that does surpass all understanding as we hold onto the promises of God. 

A wise friend told us, “Don’t try to climb the whole mountain, just hike to one tree at a time.”  Tree by tree, prayer by prayer, mercy by mercy, we begin the journey.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart.

Birthday Girl

On June 14^th we celebrated the third birthday of Grace Guiry Watson, our beloved niece and cousin. We still feel daily the loss of this beautiful girl and our family will forever carry a Grace-shaped hole. Mark is out of town this week, so it was just me and the kids– we released balloons sending shouts of “Happy Birthday, Grace” into the sea of blue sky, read beautiful words of remembrance from Phil and Kaitlin, baked a batch of strawberry cupcakes (Clara’s specific request-they had to be pink), made big wishes over three small candles and said a prayer of hope that one day we will all celebrate together in a feast beyond our imagining.  This was the first year that Clara could grasp the connection and her tender heart concluded after a series of questions, “Grace belongs to me, just like Baby Mara.” 

In our reading from Phil and Kaitlin they included this quote from Frederick Buechner: “Maybe the most sacred function of memory is just that: to render the distinction between past, present, and future ultimately meaningless; to enable us at some level of our being to inhabit that same eternity which it is said that God himself inhabits.”  Our hearts search for those moments– when we can seize just a sliver of the eternal perspective and the slightest glimmer reveals the presence of God, the communion of saints and we can catch a glimpse of the smile of our adored, cherished and loved Grace.  Happy Birthday, Gracie, with love– lots of love.

Country Kids

We had a great afternoon at the fishing hole.  Everyone caught at least one fish–well, except for the photographer.  Ben and Clara's favorite part was  playing with the worms. We now have a tub of those wigglers in the fridge as our new "pets" and a nice ridge of fresh dirt under our fingernails. Thank you to the Inscoe family for all your love and showing us the fun of country living.

Mountain Getaway

We had a peaceful, restful and fun weekend up in the Blue Ridge Mountains.  The Hill family graciously (once again) opened up their vacation home to us for the long weekend.  Leah’s dad was out visiting (“Pop-Pop” to Ben and Clara)—and the only thing better than the natural beauty that surrounded us was the charming sweetness of a brother and sister having an adventure together and letting us tag along for the ride.