Dear Clara, As You Turn Six

Clara,

Six. You just keep growing; even now your age has expanded past one little hand, now sporting that proud one from hand two. The past couple of weeks I stop, look at you deep and get teary. You know the look and protest back, “Mommy! I have to keep growing! It’s how God made me!” Bittersweet gratefulness explodes in my heart and I nod in agreement, the wonder of all the ways God has made you, Clara Elizabeth Grace Watson.

Time moves swiftly and memories can get crowded out. Here are a few things we want you to know about you, right now at six.

Funny: One of our favorite things about you is your sense of humor. You’ve always been an old soul and it shows through in your timing, wit, and observations. You aren’t afraid to look silly. You get such pleasure in making others laugh. You know that when all else fails, shaking your booty is a good trick. When Ben told you he loves how you crack him up you beamed with pride. Your humor is never mean or directed at others; you’re too smart for that. When you try on my glasses I see a future Tina Fey and I couldn’t be more pleased and excited to see what’s next.

Observant: This can be terrifying at times — you remember, notice and clue-in to pretty much everything. When your friend Milli moved into a new house you walked through and noticed each piece of art and told her mom where it had hung in their old house. I remember coming home from a party after you were tucked in for the night. I was blue, I didn’t know very many people at the party and told Mark that I felt like I was in junior high, all awkwardness and insecurity. You called out to me for a goodnight cuddle and when I went in you asked if you could pray for me. Your prayer, “Dear God, thank you for giving me the most beautiful, most special mama in the world. I would be lost without her.” You see and feel deeply. Wise beyond your years, it will be a balance of nurturing and protecting this special instinct.

Sweetheart Rebel: You continue to be a captivating mix of badass and sweetheart. Pink, glitter, frills, Barbies and ballet are no go’s on your list. Karate, orange, Legos, electric guitars and Transformers are all as you would say, Y-E-S.

You’re strong. You don’t give up. You place high standards for yourself and then follow through. Watching you work on your reading and writing this year has been tremendous. Watching you stick up for the kids in your class that need a little extra love makes me want to be a better person. You want to accomplish things on your own and aren’t afraid to do what it takes to make it happen...even if there are tears of frustration along the way.

However, you have this cuddly sweetness that runs up to lavish hugs on whomever may need one, that whispers I love you over and over in ears, that gazes at her Daddy, places both hands on his cheeks and gives him a kiss goodnight. You love animals with such tenderness — when throwing a coin in fountain or blowing out a candle you wish for all your stuffed animals to come alive — and you’re the class mother hen, making sure everyone has what they need and are in the right spot.

Cool: You’re a cool kid. It’s been fun to watch you gain your confidence with friends at school after such preschool heartbreak. Kids like you; you went from being terrified of starting kindergarten to loving and thriving with a crew of friends. At a party one mom leaned over and said, “Clara’s the one all the girls want to be friends with and the boys have a crush on.” But here’s what I need you to remember — you won’t always be cool. In fact, the thing that makes you cool to the 5-6 year old set will probably be the reasons you aren’t cool at 7 or 11 or 15. And that is okay; it’s more than okay. What is so great about this season of cool is that it comes from you just being you and it is giving you the confidence to stand in who you are, who you are becoming. That’s the part that matters, that lasts, cool or not.

Lover: You are one of the best ambassadors of love that I know. You give yourself passionately and thoughtfully to those you care about, some are people you’ve never even met. The gusto with which you love makes people feel good — I’ve seen many light up and feel special because of you. When you see a need or a hurt, you swing an arm around them or pray for them or walk with them to the nurse’s office. In Hawaii you gently laid your lei at the memorial drop in honor of Grace, your cousin in heaven. You are always looking for ways to show she is remembered in your heart. You watch and listen, filing away what is special, loved or needed by someone and then surprise them with a gift, a picture or a well-timed cuddle. You’ve fallen for James, an awesome boy in your class and you're filled with innocent love. You draw a self-portrait for him, you carry a shield boldly bearing a C and J. On the back you write to him: I love you with ½ of my heart. The other ½ is for my family. (“I have to tell him that, because Mommy, I wouldn’t want him thinking the other ½ was going to another boy.")

You are six. You are honest, brave, fun, smart, kind, beautiful and a total delight. We’d be lost without you, baby girl. Happy Birthday.